Daddy Missed Badly

Today my wife called me from Kathmandu, Subash was with her. We spoke for nearly half an hour.

It's been a month since I left them. By now my wife and I are becoming accustomed to living separately. It was really difficult at the start. My wife kept crying for sometime. Although I did not cry, I was extremely sad and felt very lonely indeed. It was bad also because the university orientation or the study had not begun and I did not have friends here. So, I kept remembering them in my room, I lived with their memory.

However, my son Subash was perhaps not comprehending at that stage that he was not going to see me for a while. Perhaps he had hoped that the UK was one of those districts in Nepal and I would come back after a few days - just like my frequent district visits from work. We had tried to explain this to him before my departure, but perhaps he had not got the point. Therefore, he did not make much fuss initially. But Rita has been informing me lately that he has begun to miss me badly.

He keeps remembering me every evening, she said. And he particularly misses me on Fridays. He tells his mom and friends that I would go and pick him up from his school on Fridays, like in the past. Friday being my half-day at work, I used to take him home from school almost every Friday. Frequently we used to go to Thamel for pizza or chips before going back home.

I hope this will not have any impact upon his tender psyche. She said he sometimes tells everyone of his plans to meet daddy in the UK after some months. He told his grandparents and others in his maternal uncle's house that he would not be there to celebrate the next Dashain. That was all very good. But what is this thing about Friday?

When we speak over the phone, he invariably complains about his mom not being kind to him. He keeps telling me how she had smacked him or had not bought him what he had wanted, and so on. He once said, "Daddy, come and smack mom, she is always smacks me". I know his mom is not so unkind, but I think he is making a pretext for asking me to come over quickly.

Well, what to do? This is really sad. It would not be that bad if I were one of those fathers (some in Nepal) who try to keep themselves distant from their children. I used to spend the weekends with him. He would never leave me alone when I was at home, but would never sleep with me at night. We used to go for a walk or visit places and relatives. He would want to somehow keep his mom off during the day.

What to do? It was never our intention to be separated for long. We had never stayed separate for this long. But the circumstances at times force us to take the harsh decisions. We are looking forward to our reunion once I have found a family accomodation outside the college, a school for Subash and a job for my wife.

Sad Daddy